My Lenten discipline was meant to be writing. To hear the scratch on the paper and to know that I was living into my identity as one who is made in the image of God.
In the beginning – the real beginning, the one that set time dancing and planets spinning – into that beginning, God created. What He created was grand and vast, intricate and wildly imaginative. But setting that aside, or perhaps lumping it together, here’s what remains: God created.
Then, out of all this creation, all the goodness of His perfect imagination, He created people. And He gave us the biggest blessing of them all – He made us to image Him.
And in that moment, in that blessing, He made me a creator. He gave me the gift of creating.
And so, this season of Lent, I set out to image God by creating. To put words on the page that built up into sentences and spoke of the goodness of the Lord. My hope was that the darkness of this world might be pushed back a little.
I’m not so vain as to believe that huge evils like war or human trafficking would be stalled by my discipline, but rather that writing might shine some light on my own darkness. That by writing, I could sort out my own sinful heart; strengthen my resolve in Christ; repent of jealous pride.
Yet rather than pushing back the darkness, I allowed myself to get buried in it. The first week of Lent featured an extraordinary busyness. I wish that I could have emulated Martin Luther who is quoted as saying, “I have so much to do that I shall spend the first three hours in prayer.” But instead, I raced around frantically, feeling overly needed and highly indispensable, which only lead to deeper pride and more darkness.
Lent is a season for repentance. For being reminded that I am dust, and to dust I will return. But that God loves me anyway.
And so, I begin again.
Much of this process will stay buried in my notebooks, but I need some accountability, so bits and pieces will show up here. Thank you for joining me during this season as I shine some light on the dark places and seek to “…walk as children of light.”